Hit the pause button for a sec.
Do me a favor and remember these three things:
1) You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingers but you are not fingers.
2) Just because you become more fit doesn’t mean that cookies stop tasting delicious. It’s normal to want to give in to cravings, whether you haven’t been active in your entire life or whether you’re a body builder. Both are still human.
3) Perspective. What are you going to be remembered by....the macros you counted day in and day out, or the good memories you helped to create for others and yourself? There is a balance. You CAN be vigilant about tracking your progress and goals without being militant.
It’s tough at the beginning, but once it becomes integrated into your life, you don’t have to think about it as much as you did during the adjustment phase at the beginning (this period of time can be different for everyone, by the way). So, no, don’t go drink and eat yourself into a stupor this weekend, but try to spend a day making good nutritional choices for yourself. Although a day or two isn’t long enough to see physical changes, it’s enough to FEEL them in the way you move, sleep, and think.
You can do it. Go get it.